I hope you're happy. No, really!

Sarcasm is as much a skill as it is a crutch. I use it even when I know I shouldn't, when I am painfully aware that I am coming across poorly, or in a way I do not wish to be painted. It happens. To all of us, really. And most phrases can go either way--sarcastic or sincere--the inflection and tone of one's voice is the difference between the two.

What about the phrase: "I hope you're happy."

It came up while I was working several days ago and it has stuck with me. Say it aloud. Okay, how does it sound? Do you sound like you mean it? Or do you sound like a complete and total ass? Yes, keep saying it, let's try to work on your level of sincerity. Try out different tones of voice, try adding emphasis on different words, play with it a little.

Suggestions:
I hope you're happy.
I hope you're happy.
I hope you're happy. (My personal favorite)
I hope you're happy.

The first two seem the most benign, the final two are, inarguably, the most blatantly evil. My personal preference is cut and dry sarcasm: I hope you're happy [because I am angry as hell]. Honorable mention for I hope you're happy [because you effed up BIG, my friend].

If there is one solely insincere phrase, there must be more.

TIP #45533: Avoid French Prison

This is me recommending a book to you--a memoir which was also made into a relatively entertaining movie called Catch Me if You Can. The book is of the same title and is much, much, much (continue with this word until you feel I would be content) better. There is a reason why it is said that you cannot EVER judge a book by its movie. I genuinely loved the book, I can't say enough about it, so it gets this tiny post.

Oh, and don't EVER commit any crimes in France (it's best you don't commit crimes anywhere, but I understand you must live your life as you see fit) unless you want to literally (yes, literally) live in a filthy, five foot by five foot cell without any accomodations whatsoever--including, but not limited to, lighting of any kind and bathroom facilities. Literally complete and total darkness and filth for a year.

Long story short: excellent book.